To the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas, early 90s pa—sa Mariposa Publications ni Cristy Fermin—noong magsulat kami ng isang musical satire. Our subject then was Viva Films, but from it we gained a showbiz aunt sa katauhan ni Tita Mina del Rosario (SLN) who swung open our door of opportunity to land a writing career on TV (Startalk) in 1995.
Twenty years later—amidst the changing times in showbiz—ay ibinabalik namin ang isang satirikong komento set in music ngayong Kapaskuhan on a subject we deem will be of interest to every entertainment writer, sing with us (deadma na sa rhyme):
On the first day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the second day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me two 500 hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the third day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two 500 hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the fourth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two 500 hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the fifth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two five hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the sixth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me six box office figures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two five hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the seventh day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me seven paragraphs of pralala, six box office fugures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two five hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the eighth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me eight p.m. magsisimula ang presscon, seven paragraphs of pralala, six box office figures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at a presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the ninth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me nine cheap items in a loot bag, eight p.m. magsisimula ang presscon, seven paragraphs of pralala, six box office figures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, two hundred bills in a sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the tenth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me ten questions during the open forum, nine cheap items in a loot bag, eight p.m. magsisimula ang presscon, seven paragraphs of pralala, six box office figures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the eleventh day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me eleven p.m. na mag-uuwian, ten questions during the open forum, nine cheap items in a loot bag, eight p.m. magsisimula ang presscon, seven paragraphs of pralala, six box office figures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation;
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Star Cinema gave to me twelve midnight nasa bahay pa lang kami, eleven p.m. na mag-uuwian, ten questions during the open forum, nine cheap items in a loot bag, eight p.m. magsisimula ang presscon, seven paragraphs of pralala, six box office figures, five unannounced flopchina movies, four viands at the presscon, three reasons to allow the representative to claim the sobre, and a strict policy of invitation on rotation.
Pepperoni
by Ronnie Carrasco III
