When you and your partner are in a good mood, getting along with each other is easy. The quarrel is another matter. In order for the relationship to last longer, you need to learn how to quarrel. The compatibility of two people can be determined by the personal qualities of the partners. Everyone knows the key factors of compatibility: common values, quality of communication, mutual fidelity. But the most important factor remains unnoticed – your arguing style.
The strength of serious relationships depends a lot on how you argue. When both partners get along well, they’re not pressured by difficult decisions, and everything runs like clockwork. Problems either strengthen or destroy the relationship. There’s a reason for this – at such moments, you see what you need to know about a person. So, how to have a successful relationship through quarrels?
Below we present a list of styles that people use during when fighting, from the faulty ones to the most effective techniques. Switching to a healthier style will benefit a couple. But it’s even more important that both partners use the same style. When people argue in different styles, the conflict is more difficult to settle.
Abstraction
Partners don’t discuss the problem seriously: as soon as one raises it, the other switches to another topic. People using this style refuse to recognize feelings or opinions that are at variance with their interests. They are inclined to bring counterarguments and become aggressive. Usually, this is a consequence of the fragile self-confidence – people don’t want to hear that they’re wrong. They don’t even want to consider changing behavior for the sake of another person, and this is one of the keys to a successful relationship.
Suppression of emotions
Such people suppress feelings, and then they lose self-control. They’re afraid that others won’t notice their experiences or attach importance to them. But at some point, they become overwhelmed with emotions, and they “explode.” The reason is simple – people get tired of a feeling that their ideas mean nothing. With anger and emotional outbursts, they try to prove their worth.
Domination
People of the dominant type notice the emotions of another person, but don’t listen to them. Instead, they find circuit paths to convince an opponent: their emotions are wrong or based on incorrect information. People with a dominant style usually lack sensitivity, although they themselves are, as a rule, emotional and vulnerable people. That’s why they don’t want to admit that they did something wrong or offended someone. The ability to admit one’s mistakes is what makes a relationship successful.
Cooperation
People with this style have one goal – to achieve a compromise. They calmly accept other people’s arguments and express their point of view in response. Such people control the tone of their voice and perfectly control emotions. They use special tricks so that the discussion doesn’t get out of hand: for example, they take a break in a dispute or take notes during the conversation. Partners, who used different styles before but eventually learned to communicate better, often come to this style. If you’re wondering how to have a successful long distance relationship, you should focus on mastering this style, as only through mutual trust and cooperation you won’t let the distance between you destroy your relationship.
Open communication
Open communication is the ultimate goal. In this style, both people feel comfortable enough to express emotions once they appear. People of this style understand their feelings well and are able to express them accurately, using different successful relationship tips. For successful open communication, it’s important to control the tone of voice and anger. People, who use this style, don’t always avoid problems. However, they easily overcome difficulties in relationships and reach a compromise solution.
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